Caretaker

I have been trying to write this since August of 2015. A lot has happened since then, but one thing has remained... my father. He's been through so much, and I just don't feel like he's gotten enough credit from me over the years. A daughter's relationship with her father is different than her relationship with her mother. I always felt so lucky because we had a lot in common (sports, hunting, etc). Still do. My love for my daddy runs as deep as my love for my mom. We just show it differently. So, here's the original post, with some edits...

Over the past few years, I have dedicated so many posts, pictures, etc. to my mother. She deserves infinite posts, but another person that deserves the same is my dad. The caretaker of our entire family since day one. And more so, my mom's main caretaker. He has gone above and beyond. My mom didn't get sick until my second year of college, so I haven't been at home watching him everyday. But I didn't need to be. When I was home for weekends I would see plenty. His care, concern, and love overflowed out of him. We know that my mom took care of him for years, he was returning the favor love. My parents were so very in love. After my mom passed my dad made the comment that it was just easy with them. I felt the same way about my love for my mom. Easy. More so when I got older and less selfish. She was easy to love, and everyone loved her. Especially my dad.

The man is a saint. Or at least as close to a saint as you can get. He has 3 sisters, 3 daughters, and works with all women. Even our cat (both of them) were females. I mean, can the man catch a break? He sort of did when my sisters married and he got a few grandsons. He's also warmed up to his sons-in-law (ha!).

He's a man of few words on the phone, but will chat with you until late in person. He's a good man with a kind heart. Most of which I have discovered without him knowing...

Many years ago I found a thank you note written to him from a gentleman whose name escapes me now. Thanking him for some dental work my dad did for him. I gathered from the note that it was a favor from my dad. I never though that my dad wouldn't do that for someone (he's done it for some of my friends), just was cool to see it written down. And the gentleman was just so thankful, and appreciative. Which tells me that he needed it, and my dad gave it. Genuinely.

I've given credit for a lot of my positive attributes to my mother and mainly given credit for my gift of procrastination to my father. The truth is I am who I am because of both of them. We are different in many ways, but we're alike in a lot of ways, too.

Since my mom has passed, we've all been doing the best we can. Days can be long. Nights can be longer. Conversations can drift towards her and you still feel the sting of her absence. You can be in a room full of people, and only notice that she's not there. But I suppose we're all still here, so that counts as doing pretty well.

A while back I asked a friend of mine if she could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would she choose. She answered then gave me the same question. I thought for a moment, and said that the first half of dinner I'd like to have my dinner with my mom. Then the last half, I'd like to have my dad join us. I miss their interactions. You could always see how much they loved each other, just in the way they spoke to one another. It was effortless.

I love my daddy, and I can't imagine him not being here, too. We got pretty close a year ago, but he's here and getting healthier.

I guess I can't really use the line, "when I grow up..." anymore...which just means I hope I'm like my daddy now. I hope I'm making him proud, and I hope that as he's making his way through his grief, he's knows that I (and my sisters) are right there with him. I love you, Daddy. You are the best caretaker, son, friend, brother, and father there ever was. Thank you for being you.

September of 2009