"What are you doing these days?"

I've been dodging a lot of questions about the current state I am in (it's Tennessee in case you forgot). But seriously. I could honestly keep dodging. It's my business. My life. However, I've always pretty much been an open book. I also feel like if you are comfortable sharing your good circumstances, maybe sharing your not so good circumstances could help someone else.

Social media masks one's life. Everyone looks like they're living their best life, and I suppose they actually could be. But I think we can confuse "best" with "perfect". Nothing is perfect. And that's okay.

So, here we go.

The past year has been an interesting one. I haven't had a super steady job since I left Birmingham. I've really been trying to figure out what I want to do. What I enjoy doing. Turns out travel is at the top of my list, but all I can do with that right now is spend money, not make any. I don't think life is all about making money, but it does help with the day-to-day.

People keep asking me what I want to do. My answer: I have no idea. That's a scary thing to say EVERY TIME someone asks. And they ask A LOT. I feel like I could do a lot of things. I'm pretty capable. Which can be paralyzing. If you've been called to be a nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher then you know what you have to do. When you don't know, your interest and self-esteem go way down. It then becomes hard to do much else. It hurts you. Your relationships. It hurts the day-to-day.

I can narrow it down to a couple of things that I like doing and that I feel like I'm good at
1. Helping people.

I said "a couple of things" didn't I? Yeah, there's only one.

Helping people was one of the things I most enjoyed at VHUMC. In all facets. Even if it was just helping someone find their way around the church.

When I'm down, I help someone, and I'm immediately uplifted. I have purpose. Purpose can be hard to find and tough to hold on to.

I think one's hopes and dreams are built on following your heart. I followed mine to Nashville. I've learned so much here. About myself. About others. About God and the universe. Love, hate...so many things. Where I stand now: If I end up back in Birmingham, I would not count Nashville as a failure. I won't move back to Birmingham (or anywhere for that matter) without a job. So ending up back there wouldn't be a failure at all. If I find a job in Nashville, then it was meant to be. I'll still have some learning to do here.

So, all of you out there trying to figure out what I've been doing for the past year (or so), here it is. It's been great, but it's been hard. I've been able to travel some. I've been able to be my true self. I wouldn't trade that for any job.

With all of that being said, if any of my Birmingham people that read this know of a job, give me a shout. Wherever I'm pulled, I'll follow.


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