My Heaven (Part 1)

At 25 I feel like I've experienced a lot. I've experienced love, death, birth and many things in between. However, at 25, I feel like I still have a lot to learn.

If God were to take me right now, in this moment while I'm typing, I'd be perfectly fine with it. It would be my time, and God is the one who decides that. At the same time, I feel like if you put a husband and a couple of kids in my corner, I might be a little more hesitant. The thought of not being able to grow old with my husband or be able to see my children grow up, get married, and have kids would probably be too much to bear. But I always remember that everything is God's. My life being the main thing. He gave it to me, so he can definitely take it away. For a long time that scared me. After Adam died, I only wanted to get to Heaven to see him. But finally, one day God woke me up and made me realize that Heaven is where everyone should want to be. No matter if you have a spouse, kids, a zillion dollars...it does not matter.

I've always imagined Heaven as place with no worries, just peace. A peace so intense that it would be impossible to remember what sorrow even felt like. I believe Heaven is somewhere you remember the people you love on earth, but all you do is smile when you think of them. You miss them, but you know you'll see them again soon. Kind of like we should do when we're on earth missing our angels in heaven, but we're human, so that's a tough one. I've always believed that as soon as you get to Heaven you get to see Jesus. You get to talk with Him, and just be in His presence. Then (however long that lasts) you get to see your family and friends who have gone before you. Then you just hang out with whomever you want.

That's my Heaven. But the neat thing about my Heaven and your Heaven, while they are different, when we finally get there it's going to be a million times better than we imagined. The peace that I described will be more overwhelming than you would believe. Part of me wishes I could visit, but the other part of me knows that's not how it works. I know that when I do finally get there, there will be nothing but happiness. People who believe that when you die, "that's it", make me so sad. If we knew for a fact that was the truth I'd be so depressed. Having nothing to look forward to. The feeling that I would get knowing I wouldn't be able to see my friends and family again is just unbearable. I've always said that I'd rather live believing there was a God and die and find out there wasn't, instead of live not believing in God and find out there is. Everyone needs something to believe in. Otherwise, what are we doing down here? There is no way this life is for nothing.