The only one.

Do you ever feel like you're the only one going through what you're going through? I feel that way all the time. Lately I've felt like I've enjoyed my alone time more than I should. I should be out hanging out with friends, and just surrounding myself with people. The fact is, I spend a lot of time with people at work. I'm on the phone, replying to emails, talking to people all the time. So, when I get a day off (like Friday) I sleep. Like a lot. I eat and then watch some TV. I relax. Nothing wrong with that, right? No, there's not. Most of the time we're harder on ourselves than anyone else. We feel like we should do this or do that, when the reality is, if you're happy, you're doing something right. Not that fake kind of happy, the real kind. Where you think about all you have (and you know I'm not talking about the material things) and you can't help but smile. It's good to be in that place. Don't be afraid of it. But also, don't be afraid of not being there all the time. You might think you're expected to be, but you're not.

Now, I'm going to get a little personal. Being personal isn't my most favorite thing, but I always think that if someone could read this and know that they're not the only one feeling this way, I'll feel like I've done some good. Funny thing is, I'll never know, but that's okay. Anyway...relationships. Yikes. The thought of a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife relationship scares me to death, but at the same time it's something that I want, but only if I'm meant to have it. At 25 uh, 26 (I really keep forgetting that's how old I am), it feels like that's where I should be. I should at least be dating, but I'm not. Work was my excuse for a while and seeing as how I just started working 9 - 6 last week (as opposed to 2 - 9), it's still my excuse for about another week...or maybe 4 days. Okay, not the point. The point, I always make myself feel like once again, I should be doing this or that. A LOT of my friends are dating, engaged, married, so it's hard not to feel that way. It's hard not to feel unwanted. However, the last time I checked, Mr. Right isn't going to automatically know where I live, come to my apartment, knock on my door, ask me to dinner, and fall in love (dang, that sure would be much easier). But, you have to put yourself out there. Until you do, not much is going to happen. The problem is you're looking at everyone else, and it looks so easy. But I'm willing to bet if you asked them, none of them will say that their significant other just walked up to them and said "Hey, I love you. We should date, get engaged, and married today. Then we should just be in love forever." If any of them do say that happened, well, I'm not one to judge. If you're happy, good for you. Seriously though, don't be hard on yourself. You're where you are for a reason. Feel special, God placed you (NOT ANYONE ELSE) there for a reason.

Live the life that God has created for you. You can't always see where you're going, but God is leading the way. I finally learned over the past couple of years that not knowing where you're headed is part of the fun. You have to believe and have faith that everything is going to work out according to His will.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight.



Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.