Patty

It's scary how quickly things can change. In the blink of an eye, your world can be turned upside down.

About 10 days ago I lost a coworker and (more importantly) a friend. It was very unexpected, and while I'm still not sure what happened, what I do know for sure is that she's gone. No more lunch dates. No more silly, inappropriate jokes. Nothing. All that's left are memories that are so painful, I don't dare visit them. While I am certain that will not always be the case, right now, that's how it is. I'll be okay...just not today.

Patty was best friends with everyone. She always found a way to make me feel special. For example, this past Valentines Day she got me a card and a basket full of goodies. I mentioned once in the past that I liked Slim Jims. She got me 2 packs of them. I tried her cheddar Chex Mix a few weeks before and said I liked it. She got me a whole bag. This was the card:

Each day I wake up and have to remind myself that she is gone. It doesn't make sense. The one blessing I have found in all of this is that as a staff we have gotten closer. We are taking care of each other more than we used to. While we each may be hurting in different ways, it's all painful. Patty had her hand in so much at the church. I rarely worked directly with her, but I would find excuses to go to the main office. I would check my mail, then turn in money, then go to someone's office to ask them a question instead of just calling them, all so I would have a reason to poke my head in her office or the print room and just talk...multiple times a day. I have cried because of her absence as much as I used to laugh in her presence. She was an incredibly special, and one of a kind person. It makes me sad to know that everyone in the world didn't get to know her.

In all of this...this pain, this sadness, this struggle...I know God is faithful. Sometimes He asks us to walk through the storm, and sometimes He allows us to walk around it. But no matter what happens, He is beside us through it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I know that Patty would hate it if she knew that my sadness had taken over the way it has. I hope she knows that I am doing my best. Living in this world without her just seems a little less happy.

I'm going to end with a poem. Unfortunately, I did not write it. I found it when I was in middle school and have kept it all of these years. I think I've kept it for moments like this...


"Thank God for You"

I thank God for you today,
just as I do everyday.
I thank God for blessing me,
for allowing me to know you,
for the laughter and the tears
we shared throughout the years.
I thank God for memories that fade
and for memories that were yet to be made.
I thank God for your caring ways
that lasted throughout our days,
for your loving kindness
that showed no blindness.
I thank God for the generosity you shared,
for the gentleness you showed
that lets me know
you are always there.
I thank God for words of wisdom
brought straight from your heart,
for your encouragement,
faith, and devotion.
But most of all,
I thank God that you're my friend.

Thank you, God, for everything that happened in my life that brought me and Patty together as friends. And thank you, Patty, for being such a great and irreplaceable friend.

*I found this picture somewhere on Facebook. I can't even remember where now. I hope that whoever it belongs to is okay with me using it.